As a middle school teacher, this "bad with the good" has always been a challenge for me. There is always the question, how involved is "too involved"? From my first year of teaching in San Antonio, I would cry daily because my students' life stories were so tragic, until now, in Oakland, when I have my students over to my house to babysit, I have walked the tight-rope of a personal-yet-professional relationship with my kids. I can't help but get involved with them. I care about them beyond the hour to hour and a half that I spend with them each day. If I am going to affect them academically, I have to affect them personally, and year after year, they creep into my heart before Halloween has even arrived.
Like Gwen, this is where a great deal of from where I derive my job satisfaction. At the same time, it can be heartbreaking, especially with young teenagers. They are so unpredictable and can be calling you "mom" during one class and the next, the are cussing you out. It has taken years for me to separate myself to the point that I love them, but don't care if they love me. At least fifty times a day I tell myself, "They are just kids."
I think that my emotional attachment and my true love for my students is what makes me a successful teacher, and regardless of my success in the classroom, it is what makes me happy. except when it doesn't. Every time you put your heart out there, you give away permission to step on it. It's a true balancing act, but it's really what makes me love my job.
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Perhaps this propensity is genetic? You described my feelings precisely - I can't HELP it, I care beyond the classroom. I'm willing to take the panicked phone calls and counsel the teary eyed student - this is the work that makes me feel I make a difference.
ReplyDeleteIndeed it is love that drives the really excellent teachers to do what they do, and it is their love of teaching our subject matter that inspires students to dig deeper into their learning.
ReplyDeleteI recently sat in a meeting of college professors where one of them talked about how she loved her students, and made sure they knew that when she taught them. The immediate response from the room was one of puzzlement, if not downright horror. She quickly added that this was of course love in its purest form, love in the sense of wanting to have her students feel safe and nurtured and encouraged as they took risks, made mistakes, and learned.
By showing our students that we love our subject matter and we love learning, it is only natural to attempt to create a classroom community based on love...love in the purest of forms, love as a catalyst for growth and change, love as a reason we keep coming back year after year to teach the way we do.
And yes, this is why teachers have longer vacations than most...because when you do it well, when you teach passionately and when you care deeply about your students' learning, when you give every ounce of yourself to your job and your students and their learning.. well, it takes until about mid July for the blood to start coursing through your veins again...
Courage and thank you for this post.